Hello Parenting Enthusiasts!
Have you heard of the 80-20 rule? This is usually applied in other life categories such as nutrition: “eat right 80% of the time, splurge 20% and you’ll be fine”. Same goes for child rearing. Spend 80% of your time encouraging green light behaviors and, theoretically, you’ll only spend 20% in the yellow and red light zones. In keeping with the 80-20 rule, I’m going to spend 80% of my time focusing on ways we can encourage, teach and model good things with our kiddos and 20% suggesting coping strategies for when things go wrong.
I am borrowing the terms ‘green, yellow and red light’ from Dr Harvey Karp, author of “Happiest Toddler on the Block”, a book I’ve read several times and am happy to summarize in a later post. He alludes to this same 80-20 concept, spending a great deal of the book illustrating the benefits of fostering positive strokes and only the last few chapters on dealing with your Monsters. At first reading, I thought this was a rip off. After all, it was from my desperation dealing with my Monsters that I originally read the book in the first place. And then it hit me. He’s talking all about this green light stuff BECAUSE if we do this consistently enough, much of the ickier stuff will actually disappear on its own. It’s laying the groundwork for improved behavior. Since I implemented several of his strategies, things have improved at our house ten-fold. Like any kind of training though, it takes the 3 P’s: patience, praise and practice.
So, I will offer those Melt-Down Mitigating Moments for when you’re IN the moment. I just ask that you spend as much time, or more, endeavoring to master the green light stuff as well. It pays off in the long run.
Happy Parenting!
Have you heard of the 80-20 rule? This is usually applied in other life categories such as nutrition: “eat right 80% of the time, splurge 20% and you’ll be fine”. Same goes for child rearing. Spend 80% of your time encouraging green light behaviors and, theoretically, you’ll only spend 20% in the yellow and red light zones. In keeping with the 80-20 rule, I’m going to spend 80% of my time focusing on ways we can encourage, teach and model good things with our kiddos and 20% suggesting coping strategies for when things go wrong.
I am borrowing the terms ‘green, yellow and red light’ from Dr Harvey Karp, author of “Happiest Toddler on the Block”, a book I’ve read several times and am happy to summarize in a later post. He alludes to this same 80-20 concept, spending a great deal of the book illustrating the benefits of fostering positive strokes and only the last few chapters on dealing with your Monsters. At first reading, I thought this was a rip off. After all, it was from my desperation dealing with my Monsters that I originally read the book in the first place. And then it hit me. He’s talking all about this green light stuff BECAUSE if we do this consistently enough, much of the ickier stuff will actually disappear on its own. It’s laying the groundwork for improved behavior. Since I implemented several of his strategies, things have improved at our house ten-fold. Like any kind of training though, it takes the 3 P’s: patience, praise and practice.
So, I will offer those Melt-Down Mitigating Moments for when you’re IN the moment. I just ask that you spend as much time, or more, endeavoring to master the green light stuff as well. It pays off in the long run.
Happy Parenting!
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