Today's blog is a bit longer than usual, and yet, it's chock full of handy tidbits gleaned from one of my favorite parenting books, Dr. Harvey Karp’s, Happiest Toddler on the Block.
If you haven't read it, make this book a part of your permanent collection. It's got more way more stuff than I'm able to include here. This is just to whet your appetite. So, without further ado, here's the summary:
Spend 80% of your time practicing the following:
Activities that encourage ‘green light’ behaviorsSpend 80% of your time practicing the following:
- Feed the Meter - short bursts of positive, focused attention throughout the day
- Time Ins- just sit and watch your kid; give him a high5, knuckle bump, smile, wink, hug
- Gossip - let your child overhear you whispering good things about him to someone else
- Mini Rewards - storytime, special game, tv time, privileges
- Hand Checks - check marks made on the hand and awarded for desired behaviors; added up and celebrated at the end of day
- Star Chart - used to accomplish specific goal, like potty training
- Play the Boob - a classic! Acting the fool gets you a lot of play in my house; often brings a kid back from the brink of ‘red light’ behaviors. Besides, it’s a lot of fun
- Play - Outside, Arts/ Crafts, Imaginary Play, Creative and Books
- Devise win-win scenarios; Kids need wins. This is the focus of my parenting style.
- Ask for help with stuff - kids love being the authority on matters
- Offer options - detailed in previous posting, “Mommy, what are my options?”
- Listen with Respect - at their eye level, quiet, nodding, open body language
- Praise the Effort not always the Result
- Playing the Boob again - this, too, makes a kid feel great
- Patience Stretching - make it a game: set a timer, make the wait incrementally longer
- Magic Breathing - never underestimate the power of a few deep breaths
- Daily Routines are Good - sets expectations; covered in previous posting “I’m Grateful for the Routine”
- Bedtime Sweet Talk, AKA “Gratefuls” also covered in previous posting “I’m Grateful for the Routine”
- Fairy Tales - let your child be the hero in a story he devises, great problem solving tool; makes them feel good too!
- Catching others being ‘good’
- Role Playing
Caution Actions, or ‘yellow light’ behavior solutions
- Clap-Growl Warnings - Non-verbal, startling action, usually interrupts unwanted behavior
- Polite Ignoring - most kids HATE being ignored. Withdrawing your attention for a spell can help unwanted behavior disappear.
- Time Out: temporary deprivation of freedom and attention (p 191)
- Privileges withdrawn
As I mentioned earlier, this is only a summary of information available in Dr. Karp's book. To learn more, get his book and check out his website. Both are loaded with great examples to help you create 'win-win' parenting solutions!
Happy Parenting!
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